Being in a long distance relationship sucks. There is absolutely no other way around it. I'm at the point now where I'm struggling to function during everyday life. There are days when I don't want to get out of bed and face the day, and there are nights that I don't want to do anything but lie in bed and cry. And I do realize that I'm one of the lucky ones. I haven't had to go more than 3 or 4 weeks without seeing Mr. T, and I can talk to him on the phone whenever I want. He's not away in another country for a year, or anything like that. But I was struggling after one month, and it's not any easier now at 2. We got skype, I make the 8 hour drive, we send each other letters, we're making it work. Honestly, if this was someone other than Mr. T; if I didn't know I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, I'm not entirely sure it would be worth it.
Because it hurts that much.
But I do it because I know it will be. I do it because I know that it already is worth it. I'm doing it because I look forward to the day (in the near future) that I get to move back to MN to our cute little house and never have to be away from him again. I'll get to marry him, and raise a family with him, and spend the rest of my life getting sick of him. I do it with the knowledge that this is making us stronger, and that the days we get to spend together will be even more cherished now that we know how bad it can be apart. I do it because we're growing closer each and every day that we don't get to see each other and instead have to talk about how our days went and write each other letters. We've gotten really good at talking, just really talking, about anything and everything, our hopes, dreams, and fears. I do it because, in the end, it's all I can do.
So I keep going, I keep getting out of bed (most days) and going to class and living my life, because I know that it's one day closer until the next time I see him, and until ultimately we're done with this for good. I keep moving along because I know it breaks his heart to know that I'm sad, just like I can't stand to think that he's all alone in a new place without me, coming home to an empty house every night. I keep remembering that it's not forever, and I keep reminding myself of all the great things to come. I keep pushing through the bad days, because I know there are amazing ones in the future.
I love you more than anything Mr T, and it IS worth it. I haven't doubted that for a second.
I know there are some of you that read my blog that are going through similar situations. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk or just whine to.