Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Long Distance Relationships

Being in a long distance relationship sucks.  There is absolutely no other way around it.  I'm at the point now where I'm struggling to function during everyday life.  There are days when I don't want to get out of bed and face the day, and there are nights that I don't want to do anything but lie in bed and cry.  And I do realize that I'm one of the lucky ones.  I haven't had to go more than 3 or 4 weeks without seeing Mr. T, and I can talk to him on the phone whenever I want.  He's not away in another country for a year, or anything like that.  But I was struggling after one month, and it's not any easier now at 2.  We got skype, I make the 8 hour drive, we send each other letters, we're making it work.  Honestly, if this was someone other than Mr. T; if I didn't know I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, I'm not entirely sure it would be worth it.

Because it hurts that much.

But I do it because I know it will be.  I do it because I know that it already is worth it.  I'm doing it because I look forward to the day (in the near future) that I get to move back to MN to our cute little house and never have to be away from him again.  I'll get to marry him, and raise a family with him, and spend the rest of my life getting sick of him.  I do it with the knowledge that this is making us stronger, and that the days we get to spend together will be even more cherished now that we know how bad it can be apart.  I do it because we're growing closer each and every day that we don't get to see each other and instead have to talk about how our days went and write each other letters.  We've gotten really good at talking, just really talking, about anything and everything, our hopes, dreams, and fears.  I do it because, in the end, it's all I can do.

So I keep going, I keep getting out of bed (most days) and going to class and living my life, because I know that it's one day closer until the next time I see him, and until ultimately we're done with this for good.  I keep moving along because I know it breaks his heart to know that I'm sad, just like I can't stand to think that he's all alone in a new place without me, coming home to an empty house every night.  I keep remembering that it's not forever, and I keep reminding myself of all the great things to come.  I keep pushing through the bad days, because I know there are amazing ones in the future.

I love you more than anything Mr T, and it IS worth it.  I haven't doubted that for a second.

I know there are some of you that read my blog that are going through similar situations.  I'm here if you ever need someone to talk or just whine to.


  1. You are right about everything. How much it sucks, how difficult it can be, how you struggle to get through one day at a time, but also how it does make your relationship stronger, and how worth it it will be in the end. We did long distance for 5 years. While it was everything you describe above I've found that we both really appreciate being together now, just doing everyday things. All the talking has definitely made us stronger as a couple and has helped us in the long term. Sounds like you guys are doing all the right things, using technology to your advantage and planning trips at decent intervals. Sometimes it does feel like it gets harder rather than easier. Make sure to indulge in things you truly enjoy when you are feeling low. Hang in there! Feel free to drop me a line anytime.

  2. People who aren't in an LDR don't really understand how awful they are. A little over a year ago, I took a job in NYC and left my then-boyfriend in Pittsburgh, and we did the dreaded LDR for a year. During that year, he proposed. And a couple of months ago, I got laid off. One of my coworkers was suggesting that I take a job in yet another non-Pittsburgh city, and I just looked at her like she was crazy. I would rather be unemployed, hunting for a job in Pittsburgh but with my fiance, than anywhere else. Home is where he is. I hope the LD aspect of your R ends soon!

  3. I'm right there with you! I was able to relate to everything you said. We've been long distance (except for during the summers) for the last 2 school years, and now we're almost down to one more semester. I have a feeling next semester will be the hardest one yet, but I have to just keep telling myself that it'll all be worth it when I FINALLY get to spend every night falling asleep in OUR house and get to wake up next to him every morning. It definitely strengthens relationships, but it is by no means fun while you're in one. I know for a fact that we'll NEVER take our time together for granted!

    I'm here if you want to whine, too! I totally get what you're saying about the not wanting to get out of bed for class. I am so over school. We're almost done!!

  4. I am always so impressed with couples that do the long-distance thing - I could never do it! S was mentioning having to go on a business trip for a couple of weeks, and it made me really sad just to think about being away from him for that long. I think all the long distance brides out there are incredibly strong - and like you said, it's definitely worth it in the end. Good luck getting through this!

  5. Awwww! Big *Hugs* to you! I've never spent more than about 3 weeks away from my hubby, and that was hard enough. I can't imagine how difficult an extended separation would be! Just keep being strong, and looking forward to your future together!


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